* 2 year olds are pretty strong and can break those plastic cabinet locks.
* If a 2 year old drinks Clorox Greenworks the only really harmful ingredient in it is ethanol which causes them to act enebriated. Give them lots of water & put a new lock on the cabinet.
* If an 8 year old gets bitten by a field mouse that is still alive b/c it's caught in the mousetrap by its' foot -wash the wound, give them an antibiotic because mice have bacteria in their mouths but they will not need a rabies shot because rabies is rare in small rodents. (But if you are bittten by a ground hog, woodchuck or beaver you could be in danger.)
* Your nice table & pretty things will get scratched, beat up and broken- just say "I loved you while you lasted!"
* When amoxicillin gets thrown-up onto your carpet, blot it and go ahead and call the professionals in- regular carpet stuff just isn't strong enough.
* Water will be splashed all the floor outside the tub so just go ahead and put a towel down over the mat. Don't fight it.
* Always have a plan.
* Always have a plan B, C, & D.
* Always have in your home: Mr. Clean Magic Marker, Shout, Carpet Spray, and Clorox Clean-up.
* Running laps around the house or down the driveway is excellent punishment and benefits all involved. Boys get exercise & their extra energy released & the Mom gets the pleasure of having them outside the house for a few minutes.
* Those balls with the suctions cups on all sides of them are more expensive than they seem- they will break out a window pane- don't let them come into your home.
* Dirt is your friend. Embrace it. Love it because it will always be on your kids & in your home.
* Keep an icepack in the freezer at all times.
* If you accidentally wash a disposable diaper in the washing machine with all the other clothes it explodes into tiny pieces and makes a huge mess.
* Never leave your purse where your 2 year old can reach it. He will get out your lipstick and draw all over his face. This could possibly happen at the same time that your 8 year old is crying because his finger is bleeding from a mouse bite.
* Don't even try to take a "relaxing" bath while they are still awake. They WILL find you.
Things I say as a Mother of Boys:
"Get your hands out of your pants"
"Put down your weapons and come eat!"
"Shhhhhhhh!"
"Don't touch the mousetrap in the garage!"
"I TOLD you not to touch that mousetrap!!"
"Get down from there or you are going to fall down the stairs"
"I TOLD you to get down from there!"
