Make Mine the Poo-Poo Platter- Now THAT'S a Bad Day!!

Warning: This post may include too much information. If you are sensitive to potty stories, stop reading now. Out of respect for all things good, I will not include any pictures with this post.

So this morning started like any other- the sun came up & Jude began yelling, "Can somebody get me outta my bed?!! It's always more of a demand than a question. He can actually get out of his toddler bed by himself, but he won't until someone opens his door. He then started yelling, "I need to tee-tee." I broke my own rule and let him use my toilet. (This is the one toilet in the house that is mine. I do not use the others in the house because there is always pee on the seat or the lid is up. No one is allowed to use my toilet but me and Clint).  I took off his Pull-up and sat in on the window sill. As I was flushing the toilet, my arm hit the Pull-up, it fell off the window sill right into the toilet during the last flushing suction. It disappeared out of sight.  I reached in my hand. It was gone.

Next, I did what I always do when I don't know what to do- I called Clint. He said it might have gone on down since it was smaller than a diaper and we would be able to tell in a few days (we have a septic tank). I was satisfied with that answer.

A little while later,  I "had to drop some kids off at the pool." I used my toilet. When I flushed it, it filled up to the rim. I knew then that the pull-up was down there stuck somewhere, clogging up the system. I called Clint. Of course, he laughed at me and scolded me saying, "Why did you poop in the toilet knowing that you had just flushed a Pull-up down it?"  I replied,  "I don't know. Maybe because I'm an idiot?"  I used the plunger as instructed- nothing. I said, "It stinks really bad."  Clint replied, "I am sure it does. I have not ever smelled any that didn't."  Comedian. Clint said we would have to call a plumber and he would have to probably unhook the toilet because the pull-up might be stuck where the toilet and pipe meet. So some man I have never met would have to come and see and dig through a toilet bowl full of my poop? And I would have to explain my idiotness to him? How utterly embarrassing!

I then got a plastic cup and began scooping the contents of the toilet into a little bucket. I told Clint I would pour it on his tomato bushes. He did not think that was funny. After carrying out 3 bucketfuls of filth and lots of gagging in between, I was at the bottom.  I was determined not to call a plumber. First, it would be costing our family a needless expense, all because of me. Second, I was determined that some stranger was not going to have to dig around in my poo. I kept this all in mind as I reached my arm up to my elbow into the innards of the toilet. It was then I felt it- the bulging Pull-up, stuck down there, taunting me.

I knew it was time for battle. I called Clint again. He wished me a strong stomach & said, "Be sure to get your phone far away from the toilet." Dang-it- he does know me so well!  I put the phone on the counter & began playing the song "Beautiful Things" as I mentally prepared myself.  I was ready. I took a breath, put on a bandanna, reached down and pulled. It did not move. One of the boys came in to the bathroom to tattle on another. I yelled, "Do not disturb me unless someone is bleeding profusely or the possibility of death is imminent!" I reached my hand in again. I gagged. Bryce came in, "Are you ok?"  Me- "No! I am not. I am digging around in my own poop! Now thank you very much for your concern. Go away!"

I reached in again. I got my pointer finger around the bottom of the pull-up and yanked. It moved a little. I breathed like they tell you to do when you are in labor. I pulled. It moved a little more. After a few minutes of pulling, gagging, & breathing, out came the full Pull-up. I rejoiced & gagged some more. I washed my arm with soap. Then washed it with vinegar for a full two minutes.  I used dish washing soap & scrubbed like I was going into surgery. I think my right arm is a shade lighter than my left because of all the skin I scrubbed of of it.

I called Clint. He was proud of my accomplishment & the money I saved our family.  I have fought the good fight today. I feel as if I can conquer anything- now onto Mount Laundry-More.

Amy

Legoland- A Picturementary

Since I have had a few people ask me about Legoland Atlanta, I thought I would just post the details  of our experience.  Our family went a week ago for Preston's birthday. These are my thoughts and observations.

We purchased our tickets online and the earliest time we could get for that day was  noon. After entering, they moved us into a holding area where there are some Lego bricks, scales, etc., and an employee told facts about Legos. Then the doors open and you stand in a line (it was short when we arrived) for a ride to get inside. They were not letting people with strollers get on the ride, they had to go around. The ride seats 4 and you have a laser gun to shoot Lego things as you move through. This was fun and the only drawback is that you can only ride it once. Preston was asking to ride it again but we couldn't since it only goes one way.

Things to do inside:

• Play area & slide (2-5 year olds)- This area had a big "sand box" full of big foam Lego blocks. The two little boys enjoyed this area and played there awhile.
• Mini-Land of Atlanta- This was a big room full of Atlanta famous places and attractions made entirely out of Legos. The boys all enjoyed this room. You could not touch anything, but there was lots to look at. Jude (almost 3 years old) even liked this room. We went in when we arrived and before we left. There was a lot to see.
• Ride- I cannot remember the name of it. It was a two-seater and went up and down depending on how fast you pedaled. You must be over 3 feet tall to ride and those 4 feet and under had to ride with a parent. The line took about 15 minutes. There were little Lego tables to play with towards the back of the line while the kids waited.
• Lego Master Builder Academy- new ones starts every 30 minutes. Kids get to go in (without adults) and build things around a 4-person Lego table. I don't know if they were given any instructions or not. When I asked Preston what the instructor said, he said, "Make whatever you want."  I took a picture of their creation, but of course, they had to leave it there.
• Build-a-Car Tracks- Kids could build a large or small Lego car and roll it on a big track. This was Jude's favorite thing.
• Girl Section- It was pink. Had some building tables. There was a Karaoke stage but no microphone to sing into. Kids could choose from a selection of annoying songs to sing along with. On stage. With no microphone. In my opinion, the girl section seemed like they just made it so they could say there was a girl section.
• Movie Theatre- I think there were 3 different movies. They rotated playing them every 20 minutes or so. The movie was 4D- you had 3D glasses and you got lightly sprayed with water, wind, and snow. The older boys liked it. There were a few parts that scared Jude but he scares easily anyway.
• Playground Area- Kids must have socks to play inside.  Adults are not allowed inside. Chick-Fil-A playground x 5. There is an employee who monitors the playground and when it reaches maximum capacity, she does not allow anymore children inside. A line forms. The employees clears the play area. Kids leaving can go to the back of the line and go back in. All the boys liked this area. Preston got tired of it more quickly than the others. Outside the playground area, there are a few stools scattered around for parents.
• Foam Pools- There are small foam pools full of Legos (about the size of the turtle sandboxes) scattered throughout the area. Kids can sit by them or in them and play.
• City Building Table- I wasn't sure what to call this area. It is a large table with a few building areas. The kids are supposed to build a Lego building that can withstand an earthquake. The kids build on a platform, then they can turn a knob and the whole platform will shake. Maddox (age 5) really liked this area.
• Cafe- Area that has tables and chairs and food. Nachos were $3. Sandwiches were $3. They had a meal deal for hotdogs (4 hotdogs, 4 sodas, 4 chips) for $15. There was a pizza meal deal (pizza, 4 sodas, 4 chips) for $15. I recommend eating before you go in. We did not buy food but we spent $15 on 3 Dasani waters. We ate at the Johnny Rockets which is right in front of the entrance then entered Legoland at 12 noon.
• Exit- You exit into the Lego store, of course!

Price

We purchased tickets online instead of at the door which saved us about $10 in all.

I am cheap, so to me, all kid's amusement activities are over-priced. We have 6 people in our family so the ticket prices add up. I would not go back every month but it would be worth it once a year since Preston loves Legos.

Baby Friendliness

To me, the area would be difficult to navigate with a big stroller. A small, umbrella stroller would be better. I did not see any nursing rooms.

Cleanliness

They get an A for cleanliness. The bathrooms were clean. They have a men's, women's, and one family bathroom. There were employees that walked around inside Legoland picking up trash as well as Legos. There were a few hand sanitizer dispensers throughout the area.

Security

It was a safe environment. Anyone can pay to come in, though, so keep in mind it could be a good place for a child predator. I would like it better if they would stamp your hands and then check them to make sure they match the parents when you are leaving.

Overall, Legoland was a good experience. The boys all had a great time. Here are a few pictures:

Amy